Two weekends ago my husband, Dan and I joined his family in Augerville-la-Riviere, France to co-officiate at our niece’s wedding. In preparing for the service, our niece, who was raised in France (Dan’s sister married a Frenchman), told us that the French like to savor experiences. Such savoring was an expectation not only for dinner (their wedding dinner lasted about four hours!), but the French also expected to savor the wedding service itself. A twenty-minute-get-‘em-in-and-get-‘em-out-wedding just wasn’t going to cut it. It was a new experience to bring this expansive attitude and energy to the planning of the service.
Being freed from both time constraints and the worry about them, allowed us all to breathe deeply and step into the experience with a sense of expansiveness and wonder. We had the time to take it all in, so that the emotions were felt more deeply, the significance of the moment was experienced more profoundly, and the bridging of family, cultures, languages, countries and continents was celebrated more vividly.
Because it was done in both French and English, the service was naturally longer than most American weddings. Some parts of the service were spoken in French and printed in the program in English and vice versa. Other parts were done in both languages. The homily (short sermon) was translated live by the groom’s two sisters who stood arm in arm and naturally took turns offering their interpretation.
Hand-written blessings from their immediate family members were written a year ago and kept in a small bag with their wedding bands. Then every guest at the service added their own silent prayer to bless the rings as the bag was passed around the congregation. Following the exchange of these very blessed rings, the immediate family members stood by the bride and groom and shared their blessing and hopes for them in both French and English.
This expansiveness of time and space that “savoring” the service offered, enabled us not just to talk about love, but to see it in action and to feel it in the moment. Savoring gave us time for honesty about the challenges of life together as well as its deep joys. Savoring allowed us time to build a community among people from such diverse places as we all affirmed that the deepest meaning and purpose in our lives comes through love and the relationships that sustain us.
I realized that savoring an experience is a spiritual practice. It helps me with what I think is intended when we talk about “mindfulness”—being fully present to the moment with an expansiveness that is freed from anxiety about the next thing. I wonder what else I might learn to savor? Perhaps this is also a gift of summer—taking time to savor a good book, our toes in the sand, a family game night, or time with our beloved. Perhaps prayer can also be savored--savoring God's presence and allowing God to savor being with us as well.
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